As 2015 ends and 2016 has just started, the new year is a time when everybody reflects and embraces change. Over this 4 week christmas break back home, I have been doing alot of reflecting. All aspects of my life have crossed my mind, and ultimately I have been questioning what my aims are in life.
Of course, I am studying BA Art and Design at the University Of Leeds, but so far I am really not clicking with their teaching style. I don't feel confident in what I am doing, and I love the subject too much to create bad connections with it due to a course that simply does not work for me.
As a result of this I have organised to have a few meetings with the student support centre and hopefully I will gain clarity over the issues I have highlighted within my academic life.
As far as personal goals go, I really want to find part-time work in Leeds whilst I study, being back earning money at home refreshed the idea of earning my own money and supporting myself, and I feel this may be part of the reason I have been feeling so bogged down lately. I also would love to pass my driving test in the near future, and I desperately need to kick the habit of biting my nails.
The reflecting that I have been doing alot of recently has also got me thinking about this space, which I normally use for tips on art related topics, and I feel like being consistent with my posting would really help me gain some form of stability in my life (Whilst studying for only a few hours a week, and not having any other commitments it's really easy to lose your sense of routine.) I also feel my academic problems have been affecting my posts as I am simply not motivated by what I am studying, and I guess it comes down to this one very problem... I love art, but hate learning about it.
I would like to think of myself as somebody who doesn't dwell on what has happened, and learning about what others have done creatively hundreds of years ago seems slightly irrelevant. Which my sound arrogant to some, yet sensible to myself.
I guess I am just going through a complicated stage in my life, and I am only still finding my feet after a few big changes last year.
(Dear, future Callam, if you are reading this, I hope you did what felt right in your heart.)
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